Last night, I dreamed that Jim Groom and Dr. Pitts of the Classics department were putting together a social experiment where they transported a bunch of students into Minecraft. These student aides were divided into groups of three and each three people would get a world to themselves. These worlds were connected by portals.
I was initially at a loss- what was I supposed to build? I had some interconnecting cave systems going, but nothing spectacular. Some of my fellow students were already decorating their creations. I complained to Jim Groom and Dr. Pitts, and Dr. Pitts told me her life story of how she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life until she turned 34 and had already had a failed marriage to a clerk. ((I am VERY certain that this story has NOTHING to do with her real life story))
Inspired, I went to go build a cathedral with very high ceilings out of the cave that opened to the cliffs overlooking the ocean.
I received notification from a fellow-student that there was going to be a picnic for the student aides and that I should attend. It was being held at another student’s house, where a portal had been placed. I teleported there via the local portal and started helping the others set up. While I was watching the portal (it was fascinating to see people just appear), a student arrived. Then he arrived again. Another student came through, in three copies. Soon enough, the incoming portal gate was inundated with copies of the students, who went immediately to the outgoing gate and disappeared.
Jim Groom and Dr. Pitts were furious. Dr. Pitts asked the first student to have multiple copies of himself, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!? You didn’t tell them what we are, did you?”
The student replied, “No, I told them what they are.” Everyone was horrified. I gathered from the resulting conversation that since we are humans in the Minecraft creative space, we still need food other than the pixelated cake and eggs and meat and grain that can be made or acquired through the game. To support this, they created clones of people they knew and populated a dimension with them.
“We didn’t start this project,” Dr. Pitts explained as Jim Groom went off to start the clean-up process, “Dr. Doom did. When we figured out what he was planning on doing with the clones, using the project as a decoy, we banished him. The clones are probably programmed to seek him out and obey his command without question, since he created the originals. The fact that they immediately went to create more clones, clones of the students in fact, well, it’s not a good sign.”
While that was being taken care of, the picnic was moved outside. I sat near Sunshine and removed all the coins I had from my pockets, along with a couple dollars. I placed them on the blanket in front of me and was enjoying the ocean view and the sunlight when my driver’s education instructor (who had also been my gym teacher and behind-the-wheel instructor) swooped down on the money and carried it away. Apparently, he was raising money for an orphanage for offspring of clones.
I didn’t make a fuss about it- what use is a few dollars in change in Minecraft? I was suddenly called away to another dimension, where the setting wasn’t on Peaceful. I wielded a sword until it broke, and was in the process of liberating a hospital from a swarm of unfriendlies. A nurse was about to fall off the roof of the building, a case around her head. She was howling something about cow poop and clawing at the casing. I destroyed it and she thanked me. However, she was still loopy enough that her warning to avoid a certain type of enemy went unheeded by me.
I engaged a thing that looked like a cross between a grasshopper and a cabbage patch kid. As I defeated it, a helmet settled around my head. There was a small slit to see through, but it was hard to focus on where I was going because of the noise. An incessant loop of ad jingles and game show themes played, interspersed with “Cow poop Cow poop heheheheh Cow poop! Heh heh heh.”
I heard the nurse shouting to me, “I told you to be careful or you’d get saddled with the Helmet of Ultimate Annoyance. It’s utter cow poop!”
I thought to myself, “I wonder if they mean Bullshit.”
Then I woke up.
I started Zyrtec a few days ago- I’ve noticed that my dreams have gotten more vivid since then. Also weirder.